A day in the life of Stacy

messing with my brother

So I've got the uninsured diamond to my brother's wife's wedding ring, an opportunity like this doesn't come around very often. I put it in my jewelery cleaner for a soak so it would be extra sparkly. Demented as I am, I thought, if I died today, they would probably never find the diamond again and become some kind of family lore: "Stacy was the only one that knew where it was and now she's dead..." Or they would find it and think, "Hey she was going to clean it for us, that was nice..." But I'm not dead, so I'll finish my story. I told Todd I found the diamond and I was going to give it to Elliott in his birthday card during our family birthday party for my brother, cousin and aunt. So I told Todd to rub a little salt on it to make it's loss a little more fresh and raw. My grandpa knew I had it so he joined in on the salt rub.
I made the card myself. I took a plain piece of card stock, folded it in half and wrote on the front:
"The real question is what are YOU going to get ME for MY birthday?"
On the inside I wrote, "Because I like diamonds too."
I had the diamond in a tiny ziplock bag taped on the inside.
Watching him read it was so classic. It took him a couple of seconds for him to realize that I had found the diamond and there it was in front of him, but you could tell the instant it hit home because his face immediatly turned red and he said, "Na-uh..." His heart was beating so hard with relief his face almost couldn't take it. Nicole was in the bathroom during all of this so we got to see the reaction all over again when she came out. She thought that the whole thing was a joke and I went to the trouble of getting a piece of glass or something to put in the bag, she was not amused, but upon closer inspection she realized it was the real thing. Geez, I love messing with those two, particularly Elliott.

Clearly they were over here when she lost the diamond. That night I had made a Mexican lasagna. It is a pretty heavy dish and I didn't want to get blasted with hot air when I opened the oven so I thought I would just have Elliott do it. So I handed him the oven mitts and turned to do something else when, POW! I got punched in the shoulder. I looked over and there was Elliott, dancing around like a cartoonish boxer, wearing the oven mitts. So I wound back to pop him one and he crumpled up like I was Mike Tyson. So I dropped my fist since he was going to be a baby about it. Then he felt like a baby so he offered me his shoulder so we would be even. I punched him about half as hard as I was going to originally and thought that would be it. So I turned and he punched me AGAIN. So I was like, c'mon, cut it out. So he dropped it and walked away. Then I karate kicked him in the ass. Aaannndd.... now we're even....
He's 27 and I'm 25 by the way.

posted by Stacy @ 8:16 AM