A day in the life of Stacy

Stories about poo

You probably don't realize how much my life revolves around poo. "Did she poop yet?" "Did he poop?" "His poop leaked! It's everywhere!" It's a regular poo fest every day around here. Isabella is 16 months old and about three weeks ago I get her to pee in the potty. She's done it about once a day every other day since then. That's really early you say, how did you get her to do it? Well, I'm here to tell you. I noticed over the summer that Isabella would pee in the big bathtub before getting in her little blow up duck tub almost every night. By the fall I thought, I should get her a potty and sit her on it before her bath every night. So that's what I did. So after sitting her on it every night, she got used to it. After three long months by the grace of God, she peed on the pot. So one day she didn't poo in the morning like she usually did. She didn't poo in the afternoon either. Nightime arrives and its bathtime. I sit her on the pot and she pees and I put her in the tub, very proud of both of us. A couple of minutes later she stands up and and starts to poo in the tub. I grabbed her and put her on her pot where she finished her business. So now I have poo in the tub and poo in the pot and a kid that I should throw back in the bath. Isabella has this little net for catching fishes in the tub. Lets just say we weren't catching fishes that night.

The next day I was waiting for Gabe to poo for two days. So I change his diaper thinking he had finally sealed the deal, but it was just a fart. I decide to change him anyway and while I am reaching for a wipe, poo startes to come out. Like some kind of superhero, I catch every drop. It took like five wipes.

Our family has a farm. We have people that rent the farmland, and a hunt club that pays to hunt on it. Take notes here: If you want to really piss off my brother something awful and get your hunt club banned for life, all you have to do, write this down: is get in a fight with one of the renters and take a dump in his combine. That is all you have to do. It's so simple: Poo in combine=mad Elliott. All this time I was terrorizing him, but I never reached the level that this guy did in one try. I've been working my whole life and the answer was so simple. How could I have been so blind?

posted by Stacy @ 11:44 AM