A day in the life of Stacy

Friday, September 23

Today is my Grandma's 80th birthday. We celebrated by going to Grant's Farm with my kids. I was in a hurry to leave so I could get back early because the bug guy is coming to spray today. We've had a lot of spiders lately, heebie geebies. I didn't forget to feed the dogs this morning, which has happened before when in a hurry to leave the house. Its a good thing too because Laney had begun to feast on a turtle. She knarled up the front of his shell pretty good but hadn't gotten to any meat yet. So I got there just in time. The shell was bloody, I'm assuming from Laney's bleeding gums, but maybe shells have veins, what the crap do I know? I thought I would put him in my bathtub to relax after his run in with Laney. The first thing he did was pee in my tub. Can't blame him for that. So I left for the morning and when I came back he had shit all over the place. It smelled pretty bad. Where did all the shit come from? It was just a box turtle. One of the mysteries of the universe. I used one of those disposable toilet scrubbies to clean the tub, because I'm cleaning up shit, right? Seems logical. That's all I do all fucking day, may as well add turtle shit to my resume.
Once again I made the mistake of watching the Today show this morning. I just wanted to know what was up with the hurricane. They had those stupid reporters on the beaches all along the coast. Then, my favorite person, Matt Lauer, is saying really intelligent things about the hurricane like, "These aren't angry waves, but they are definetly getting grumpy." Then Lester Holt or whoever is a mile away reporting on a drunk guy that just jumped in the water. You know what, forget it, I'll watch the Daily Show.

posted by Stacy @ 1:29 PM