The story of Fancy Pants
The story begins with Newlyweds Elliott and Nicole. Nicole wants a cat so she can relive her youth and love for her cat growing up. So she goes to the Humane Society and looks at some kittens. To hear Elliott describe it, she called him at work from the HS and was saying stuff like, "The black one is really cute but the white one looked at me and said 'Meow'" In any event, she got the white one, they named her Fancy Pants, and they quickly discovered she was the spawn of Satan. Elliott had a new surround sound system and Fancy liked to chew threw the cords. Elliott found through his lack of anger management that if you whip the cat with the cords in question, that the cat won't do it again. The cat also liked to attack Nicole, and especially their dog, whom she was bigger than. Elliott will also tell the story of when he took ONE step out the door on his way to work, immediatly realized he forgot something and turned back around, to discover the cat on the counter. The cat sees him and gets the look of "Oh... shit..." But the straw that broke the camel's back was when clean freak Nicole traded in her birthday dyson for the upgraded pethair dyson to clean the cathair once and for all. Once she saw the giant ball of fur that could build another cat, she decided the cat had to go so she took her over to my mom's house and put her in the barn to live. This is generally against the rules because my mom doesn't want any declawed cats because they have to be able to defend themselves, however in this case it was either live at the barn, or have a little visit with Nicole's dad which if you can't figure it out ends with a bullet to the head. So we thought Fancy could take her chances. Cole, my brother's son, likes to go down to the barn. He quickly discovers "Grammy's new cat" and thinks she should be named Whitey. In case you haven't made the connection, Fancy lived at Cole's house from the day he was born and he did not recognize this gleaming white cat as his own, nor did his miss her at his own house. So from then on we all HAD to call her Whitey so he wouldn't make the connection and be tramatized or something. Whitey made a change of personality and I guess deserved a name change. She was just the sweetest darn cat from then on. The saga ends with her curling up in a ball and just dying out of nowhere from reasons unknown. Cole did figure out the cat was missing eventually and questions were asked, I don't know how they were answered. In any event, hats off to you Fancy Whitey Pants, you will live on in family lore.
posted by Stacy @ 6:20 AM
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